Adventure Must Start With Running Away From Home

Home is defined as the place in which one’s domestic affections are centered. A worthy and factual definition. But over the course of the last year, the word 'home' has come to mean so much more. It has been a whirlwind of a year. One with Adventures and new challenges which I had never faced before. Challenges that pushed me to my breaking point. Those challenges that caused me to be weaker and more vulnerable than I had ever been while at the same time forcing me to be stronger than I have ever been.

You could have asked me a year ago if I would ever return to my home town and I would have told you straight up there was no chance in hell I would ever live there again. I would have told you I was destined for more. That the adventures I had left to take did not included moving home or more so moving back to the place I grew up. Yes part of it would always have a feeling of home. It was were my parents lived and where the rest of my family resided. But I had grown to call each place I had lived over the past 6 years home and I never wished to call Delta County home again.

'Never Say Never'. You hear that phrase all of the time. I said I would never return home. But that is the exact place I have resided for the past 10 months. It was unfortunate circumstances which lead me back to this place but I am thankful every day that it did. It took coming home to make me realize what I truly needed. I didn't need to return to place I grew-up or to the mountains I so dearly loved. I didn't need to reture to the house that I lived in or to that same familiar drive. What I needed were the people and the relationships that come with family. That sense of belonging and that sense of safety and security that comes with family. Knowing that family doesn't necessarily have to blood either, but can be those remarkable people you have been so blessed to have as part of you life. Knowing you can always count on them to be your ultimate support team when you need it the most even when they might not necessarily agree with he decision you have made, they still understand and support you through it all.

Through all of my little and big adventures I had over the past 6 years that was one thing I was missing most. But it is strange. The feeling I have now. I have everything I could ever want when It comes to that. But there is still something missing. I am in search of something more. Maybe that's why I have chosen to start an Adventure with Peace Corps. Its not why I choose to join, but may be a part of why I am going.

There is such excitement that is within me as I think of the two years that lie ahead. But just as there is such excitement there is also the fear of uncertainly and of the unknown. The thought of going to a brand new place and starting new is a feeling I have had many times but it never seems to get easier. Maybe its human nature to fear the unfamiliar. To dread leaving the place where the familiar made one feel a sense of safety and security.

There are all the 'What Ifs" That fill your mind. What if i don't belong there? What if this was not the right choice? What if I am not cut out of this adventure? What if I need the support of the family and they are 6000 miles away? What if something happens to someone I love dearly while I am away? Will I ever be able to forgive myself of not being there? What If..... But then I think, What if I belong there? What if I find an incredible family that give me the same support as the one here? What If I make a difference in someones life? What if I teach someone something new? What if I fall in love with Zambia? and What if I learn to call Zambia home?
I think the 'What if's" of the world is how I/we deal with that fear. The way we try to talk ourselves out of something. The way we put our mind at ease. There is a chance that all these things could happen. But that is part of the Adventure. That unknown and unfamiliar that we fear so much is what makes life exciting. It is what Inspires me to travel it. Who knows where it may lead. What people I may meet or impact I may have one someone life.

There is still something missing. I am in search of something more.Will I find it in Zambia? Its hard to say but I know through it all I will have the support of my family, plus....Adventure must start with running away from home...but that doesn't mean I cant come back to the place where everything is better and everything is safe.